Title: And upon her forehead was a name written

2025-01-07 19:48:40 +0800

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2025-01-05 15:55:24 -0800

I'm cheating on you. I installed cherrytree to keep notes. I'm not sure if I want to publish the details of one project I'm working on. but I do want to keep notes. plus also I might want to write a paper at some point, so I need some notes.

I guess this means I might write less here. I dont know. we'll see how it goes. I know no one is actually reading this. but the idea of having the ability to type some shit in a window and with a click send it out for anyone in the world to read is appealing to me. like radio.

Here's something I can talk to you about, though. the more I look into this "agent" think, the more I think it's fluffed up hype. they're just ai applications. they're not out wandering around on the internet. I should probably dig in more to what exactly people have built. what I've seen so far is stuff like ai16z and virtuals. those are just chat bots. I guess they can spend crypto or whatever, which is a big deal. but they aren't really doing much more than interacting with people on the internet and having control of a bitcoin wallet.

2025-01-06 04:13:41 -0800

the base state of the newborn is awe, because how could we not be overwhelmed with awe in our first moments of this vast and captivating experience of an existence that is so utterly beyond account. a days old infant might be temporarily blinded to this awe by hunger or cold, but take away the discomfort and the state of awe returns. the beginning of the end of newborn awe is the first time we are told no, because that is the moment we discover that we are not alone in this bewildering life but in fact share it with others like ourselves with their own will and with the power to oppose us.

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the dog and the deer have a short youth because they have so little to learn. and they have so little to learn because their ability to learn is so limited. our human time of youth is long because we have so much to learn. and we have so much to learn because our forebears were able to learn so much and apply this learning toward building an endlessly complicated world for us to live in. in fact, as animals we have so much to learn that some of us never fully mature. we even have an aphorism that 'you never stop learning' or that 'you learn something new every day'. (This, however, is not the reason that some of us never fully never mature. extended youth--adult immaturity--doesnt come from the endless supply of newness in the human world, but fatigue of it, or contempt or even a skepticsim toward it derived from and illusion that one has "seen it all before." and of course human maturity comes from an acceptance that life is ultimately bigger than us and a comfort with it, and humility. we call this wisdom.)

much of our fate as individual humans is formed by what we learn, and maybe more importantly when we learn it. for some reason that I can only guess at, there is a peristently observable gamelike quality to life. life is not just a game, but a game filled with a thousand casinos each having their own complex arrangement of games nested within games. the games are varied and the stakes are varied. and our fate unfolds as we move from game to game, prevailing or not and enjoy winnings great and small and greiving losses great and small.

time moves on and our wins and losses acumulate. the outcome of the games we encounter is a result of what we know when we approach them. and what we know is based on what we have learned. and the games themselves become a source for our learning. luck often means knowing enough for the moment we are in. other times it means losing a game that will teach us more than we could have ever hoped to know.

when the newborn child is first told 'no' then, in the words of Art Doyle, the game is afoot. lucky is he who quickly learns to pocket his awe and become alert to the world. and fortunate is he who notices the strategy of navigating life's infinite casino to a place where he can rest and take a moment to reclaim the original awe of existence.

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risk is humor's vitality

2025-01-07 02:27:31 -0800

been downloading llama 3.3 which is 42 GB. Out here in the country we get 7 megs of download every sixty seconds. So just getting this file on my drive is an undertaking. I wish I had timestamps on my terminal prompt right now. but it's been a while. I'm 39% of the way in.

point is that all of yesterday I was offline so that this thing could get the full 7ookps and using the internet is frustrating anyway while something on another machine is taking up as much pipe as it can get and a little more too. instead of waste time onl watching shit load I started cleaning up the jumbo shove closet that the largest room in my house has become over the last 18 months. this is at least or more than half the reason I took a pause from the paycheck job. the castle crumbles while the king is on crusade.

it's not just a room either. this facility has no manintenance crew. or rather the maintenance crew is I and I.